Need Help Getting Your Girlfriend Back After No Contact? Here’s How With Different Strategies Based On Time Duration
There’s an old saying that every relationship has an expiration date, but this doesn’t have to be the case. Most relationships fall apart because one side or the other doesn’t feel like they’re getting what they need or getting it how they need it from the other side. In either case, relationships can be repaired. You just need an effective strategy in order to do this. Guys that want to get their girlfriends back know it can be hard because most of the time there is no contact. First we have to understand why there is no contact after a breakup. Here are a few simple reasons:
- One or both sides are still very mad at each other and neither wants to relent because they feel it will make them look weak. “I don’t want to appear like I care more than they do”, is the thought process here.
- One person or the other is fearful of what might be said with contact. “I might get asked questions, be accused of things, or get verbally attacked a certain way”, is the thought process here.
- Needing some time to simmer down. This is when one or both people need time to cool off. This happens when a breakup was especially nasty and hurtful things were said in the process. A cooling off period is necessary.
- Wanting the other person to experience hurt. This is where one or both people feel like they are hurting the other by not contacting them. The goal here is to make the other person think that you can drop them easily and move on like they never mattered.
There are several more reasons, but we’ll stick with these main one. Guys that want to get their girlfriends back after not having contact with them for a while need to be very strategic in their approach. It can be done. Following are effective plans of action you can use, based on how long you’ve been out of contact with your girlfriend that can really work if you’re serious about implementing them.
Let’s get started.
What to do if you’ve been out of contact with your girlfriend for a period of two weeks or less
Understand that during this period emotions are still going to be running high. This is probably the rawest your girlfriend is going to be in terms of emotions. So you’ll need to proceed very carefully here.
Step 1-Review everything that was said during the breakup and be ready to swallow your pride.
Chances are you said some things or something was said to you that you responded to the wrong way, because as a guy there tends to be a lot of pride involved. As mentioned before, emotions are probably still running high on her side whether it was a nasty breakup or not. The first goal has to be swallowing your pride. This means attempting to contact her first.
During the first two weeks or less she probably hasn’t erased your information out of her phone yet. So you can try texting her and apologizing for what you said, especially if you know you said something that was extra hurtful or did something that was extra hurtful. You have to assume she wants you to feel more pain or understand how she feels. So you have to take an emotional beating here.
Don’t worry if she won’t answer your texts. The goal is for her to get your message. You can use social media if you need to, but not in a way where you come off stalkerish. You certainly don’t want to call her on the phone. She won’t answer.
Step 2-Be willing to take small wins no matter how you get them
If it’s been two weeks or less with no contact with the girl you’re trying to get back, then you have to look at any contact from her as a good thing. Even if it’s her calling/texting to curse you out. Any emotion from her is a good thing towards you because it shows she still cares enough to have this emotion towards you.
Move slow. Focus on getting her to do things that don’t require much of her. If you’ve only been out of contact for two weeks or less, then you need to do something that’s not going to make her think of the negative. Maybe you just text back and forth or communicate through mutual friends for a while. Maybe you make some gesture she’s not used to in order to show her that the relationship is worth repairing.
Girls want guys who are willing to fight for them, and as mentioned before the first two weeks or less is going to be the most emotionally raw a girl is going to feel about a relationship ending. This is whether she ended it or you did. She might try to test you (by being difficult, attacking you verbally, openly disrespecting you) all as a means of seeing just how badly you want to fight to repair the relationship. You’ll need to be strong here and not take whatever wins you can get.
Step 3-Throw you know what at the wall and see what sticks
If you establish contact with your girlfriend, meaning she contacted you back in some way, then you need to leverage the hell out of whatever response you get. Try to do anything that will require her to invest some type of time or energy into you. It can be something as small as going to Starbucks for a drink or to a trendy restaurant both of you like. The goal is to get your former girlfriend to trust feel good around you again.
You have to focus on slowly building those feelings back up. Two weeks of no contact isn’t that big of a deal. It gets harder the longer there’s been no contact. The truth is the first two weeks or less is probably your best chance to save a relationship after no contact.
What to do to get your girlfriend back after no contact for a period of up to one month
If it’s been a month that you’ve been out of contact with your former girlfriend. Then you need to stop and consider what might have taken place in this time. If she didn’t respond to your attempts to text/call her in this time period, then you need to resort to another strategy. At this point your greatest weapon is going to be the mutual friends both of you have whether it’s by means of social media or in person. Chances are all of her friends don’t hate you just yet. So you need to leverage these relationships.
Step 1-Use mutual friends in order to gather information about her and what she’s doing
Don’t look at this as a bad thing. You asking mutual friends what your former girlfriend is doing is a way of showing that you still care. You have to convince a girl that you care about how she feels, feels, feels. The goal is to find a friend who doesn’t see you as an enemy now and feels like it would be betraying the other person by talking to you. It needs to be someone you know your former girlfriend will listen to, someone they will let down their guard for.
You can also use a mutual friend as a means to communicate information back to the girl about yourself as well. You would want to focus on how miserable you feel without her and how if given another chance you’ll do whatever it takes to make things better this time around. Yeah, it might sound sappy, but you have to fall on the sword here.
Step 2-Try to get mutual friends to become your biggest campaigner to get your girlfriend back
If a girl won’t talk to you in person or answer your text after a month, then you need a mutual friend that’s going to be very convincing in getting her to cut you some slack here. It has to be someone who you know your girlfriend likes. Someone she is very open to and not going to be hostile towards. If they can do a good enough sell job, then your former girlfriend might be willing to speak with you via text or phone simply because the mutual friend convinces them to. This should be only after the first step has been performed though.
Step 3-Use social media to communicate with mutual friends and arrange meetings
Once again, if it’s been a month since you’ve been in contact with your girlfriend, then all of her friends don’t hate you yet and haven’t blocked you on their social media accounts.
The goal is going to be getting a mutual friend to invite you to something where you know the former girlfriend will be and no be resistant as a result. Take things slow here. You’re not going to get your girlfriend back instantly. The ultimate goal is to get her to give you an opportunity to win her back. Better for the window to be cracked open a little and opened inch by inch rather than being sealed shut forever.
How to get your girlfriend back after no contact if it’s been up to 3 months
Three months is a long time to not have been in contact with a girl that you used to be with. If it’s been this long than a lot is going to come down to whether or not it’s you who hasn’t made the effort to contact her or she just isn’t open to communicating with you. If it’s been this long, then you have to focus on just getting your foot back in the door.
Step 1-Use mutual friends to make sure she has your current contact info
Chances are if it’s been up to three months with no contact she deleted all your information or blocked you. After this time period emotions shouldn’t be all that high anymore. If it isn’t a problem for you see if you can use those same mutual friends to keep up with her current contact info. You must be able to make sure you have a lifeline to her.
Step 2-Focus on trying to get your former girlfriends to let you talk, not conversate
In some cases a girl has no interest in having a back and forth with you. The first two weeks is when she would just want to vent. If it’s been three months though you just need to hope you can get her to let you talk. This means she’s willing to listen. Think of it as calling someone on the phone to sell something and they don’t immediately hang up the phone on you. They’re giving you a chance to sell them. Any contact that you can establish just try to get the girl to take in what you have to say. Let it simmer for a while.
Step 3-Focus on becoming friends again first
In many cases you can’t hope to get a girl to give you a second chance right away. You have to get her to like you again first. Once you’ve managed to execute the first two steps here, then you’ll want to focus on just getting her to respond to you warmly again. You would want to use this as a chance to get her to hang out with you doing small stuff. Once you can become friends again, then you can escalate to seeing if there’s still a chance that the girl will want to try a relationship again.
If you want to get your girlfriend back after no contact for up to 6 months
Six months of no contact is a huge deal, because most would assume after this time period there’s little hope of salving a relationship. Here’s the thing guys, if it’s been this long you have to assume that a girl has moved on a little. Maybe she’s dated a few guys and none of them quite did it for her. Once again you will need to leverage any mutual friends or even family friends you might have in order to reestablish contact with the girl or keep up to date with contact info. This would include making sure she knows how she can contact you.
Step 1-Assume the girl has dated other guys in this time period and use it to your advantage
Once you were able to use mutual friends to establish contact, then make sure the message gets to her that you haven’t dated any other girls since or haven’t slept with any other girls (even if this isn’t the case). Girls want guys to suffer for them once the relationship has ended. They don’t want to believe you can move on so easily and this makes them feel like they are unique, not just another girl to you. If you can pull this off it shows you’re still hung up on her, and you’re feeding into how she wants you to feel. This is a good thing.
Step 2-Get a good mutual friend to be a go between for the two of you
The goal here has to be to communicate indirectly, because the girl might still feel too uncomfortable to talk face to face or over the phone just yet. If the two of you have several mutual friends (if it was a long term relationship then this should be the case) then there has to be someone she would communicate with you with. Leverage this to wear the girl down, meaning get her to warm-up to you and get rid of the awkwardness.
Step 3-Play off of whatever response you can get from the girl
This means if after up to six months of no contact you manage to reestablish contact with the girl and get any type of response, make sure you make the most out of it. It can be something as simple as her asking you what you are doing at the moment. Play off of it. Try to extend these interactions. Once a mutual friend is no longer the go between and any initial awkwardness has been relieved, then you’ll want to focus on getting comfortable with each other again. Once this happens more difficult conversations can be had, which will lead to questions about whether the relationship can be repaired.
If you want to get your girlfriend back after no contact of up to a year or more
If it’s been a year or more with no contact with your former girlfriend, then you have to focus on trying to have chance encounters with her. Chances are if it’s been this long, then even the mutual friend strategy isn’t going too well. The girl in question just might be hell bent to not give you another chance or even a window to change her mind. She almost certainly has dated other guys and will assume you’ve dated other girls.
Step 1-Think of all the places you used to go and try to make an effort to show up to them often
When you were together with your former girlfriend where did the two of you go a lot? Do you best to frequent these places, even if it’s going to cost you money. The more often you can do this the more you increase your probability of running into your ex. It can even be she likes to go to a certain library.
Anywhere you feel there’s a chance you can encounter her, you’ll need to position yourself to do this. Make sure you know exactly what to say to her in this case. The safe road would be asking what’s been going on in her life for the past year+. Any raw emotions she has should have subsided, at least to a certain point. Most of the time you can expect a response.
Step 2-Try the old school way of contacting people, physical mail.
Let’s say that you are having trouble with the chance encounter approach. Okay. So the goal her has to be to just get in contact with the girl anyway you can. Here’s an idea from the stone ages, but one that might work if you haven’t been in contact with a girl for a year+. Write her an actual, physical letter and mail it to her. Even if she’s moved the mail would be forwarded to her new address. A letter is more likely to be better received. It’s so much more personal than a text or phone call, which if it’s been this long aren’t options for you anyway.
A physical letter from you gives you a chance to say everything you want to say, give whatever information you want to give, and get a response in multiple ways (because you can leave current email, social media, phone numbers, etc.). In this day in age where everyone over relies on their smart phones, an actual piece of physical mail might be the most powerful weapon you have at your disposal. Keep in mind that if it’s been up to a year or more, the mutual friend idea has probably failed and you have no way of keeping current with the girl contact info. All you might have is her street address whether it’s current or not.
Step 3-if you get a response using the second step, then make the most out of it
If it’s been up to a year or longer since you’ve been in contact with your ex-girlfriend, then you have to assume she has moved on to a certain extent. If you try writing her a physical letter and she does respond, you have to use anything you can in order to get said girl to have a deeper conversation with you. After this time period the goal is to get to know each other again and try to figure out what it was that made you want to be in a relationship with each other in the first place. If you did something you shouldn’t have done, swallow your pride and take whatever she throws at you. Don’t get defensive or deflect (blame her).
Make sure she knows there hasn’t been anyone else in your life that comes close to her (even if this might not be true) and be sure to express that you still care about her and feel what you had is worth rekindling. It might take time, but if there are any feelings still there on her part, she’ll think about it at least.
Understand that relationships these days are built to fail. People have so many choices and with this being the case there’s less tolerance on both the girls and guys part. When breakups happen, for whatever reason they happen if it’s worth saving then you must be willing to fight for it. Guys who want their girlfriends back after certain periods of no contact have decided that the relationship is indeed worth fighting for. The question is can you convince the girl to feel the same way.
No matter how much technology changes or how much social media changes the way people communicate, women will always want to feel desired and valued. Genuine love and caring are rare to come by these days, so whatever period of time is needed to allow a girl to cool off or collect herself about things is needed then so be it. Just be willing to be proactive and not be easily deflated if you’re met with resistance at first when trying to contact a girl after a certain period of time. You can indeed win your girl back, no matter how much time has passed without contact between the two of you.